Fashion is weird, Iceland is weirder

During my recent trip (totaling all of 18 hours) to Iceland I was most struck by how truly and utterly bizarre the culture and people are, in all the best of ways. Its unusual to go somewhere that lists among its top sites a penis museum and whose restaurants post signs stating that assholes are not allowed inside. I feel like that should be an unspoken rule everywhere, and possibly it is but the assholes just miss the memo that informs them of this OR more likely they are fully aware of their unwelcomeness and still show up anyway only reinforcing their status as assholes.

Alrighty then, redirecting this tangent back onto track-ish territory, here are some interesting things I spotted in my sleep deprived jaunt around Reykjavik. Try to spell that one on two hours of sleep.

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If nothing else, my six hour flight to the land of Ice provided me with ample time to re-watch Ruby Sparks and enjoy it this time as well as read through twelve dollars worth of magazines (clearly I have great financial skills). It’s September, which is the fashion magazine equivalent of finals week so those suckers are enormous and filled with highly useful information! And so, I bring all five of you the this fall’s trends, brought to you straight from the epicenter of fashion Stockholm itself.

The ever-pleasant no-eyebrow look is back, folks

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Are you albino? Do you have alopecia? Then you will be super popular in the coming months—everyone is dying their eyebrows to blend in with their face and it is truly aesthetically pleasing.

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But don’t shave off your brows yet! There is an alternate eyebrow option for the Greek, Russian, Moroccan, and other dark complexioned members of society. It’s as easy as a trip to your local arts and crafts store and investing in some feathers or straight up glitter to plaster on your face.

 

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Fashionista or owl? Crackwhore or merely scared to death? Or a murderer. Maybe all the above.

 

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Crazy eyes are also SO TOTALLY in.

 

 

As is being uncomfortable close to people you don’t know. The very best way to initiate conversation with someone is to stare at them from three inches away. Staring in general seems to be a popular theme in the fashion world.

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So much staring, so little time

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(I can feel the heavy breathing from here)

You know what makes staring even more noticable? If you tie a handkerchief around the rest of your face so no one can miss your lil peepers.

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This was in two separate places in a magazine. OOOH FANCY.

Convenience. Models don’t have time to shop, people who wear designer clothing don’t have time to go to the store AND be fabulous AND purchase clothing that would pay for the entirety of my education and/or food for a starving village for a year. What could be more convenient than grocery shopping for clothing?

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I would like some Jimmy Choo heels with my dead fish eyes, thank you so much Albertson’s. Ah, I stock up on raw chicken AND a Gucci clutch. Perfect. Logical.

Most  prominently I would say very ugly things are going to  be quite the hit this year, so call us grandma and find her most atrocious shit.

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