I am just super terrible at speaking Swedish. And it’s not for lack of trying, I understand most of what I hear and I can write things alright too, but when it comes to using the language I am the worst. My newest strategy to bribe myself to attempt speaking is sneaking in words that are inappropriate to say in English (not that it stops me from saying them in English either) but absolutely normal to proclaim in Swedish.
Then I secretly giggle to myself. Did I say secretly? Not so secretly.
About as far from secretly as humanly possible seeing as not only am I doing this but now writing about it on the internet for all to see.
And so, my English speaking comrades. If you ever feel inclined to say some Swedish words…say these ones.
Utfart (drive way)
Farthinder (speed bump)
Penis (turns out, it’s the same thing)
Ogooglebar, adj. Definition: Literally, ungoogleable. As in, you cannot google it. Or you can google it, but nothing will come up in the results. I guess this does technically exist in English, but is never used because Google knows everything.
Trädmord, n. Definition: “tree murder” aka being wasteful with paper products.
Nakenchock, n. Definition: “naked shock”. When you click on a link that accidentally leads you to images of naked people. Does not apply when you click on a link and expect to see naked people, ya creeps.
Sambovikt, n. Definition: weight you gain when you are living with someone. Would like to know if this counts when the person you are living with is either (a) a cat (b) two cats ( c) Kevin Spacey in House of Cards because you finally have internet and CANT BE STOPPED.