There ain’t no party like a Mitt Romney party

It’s Saturday** night folks! I just got home from work, lit some of the ol’ candles, and kicked back an Emergen-C cocktail

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Let’s party!

**it is no longer Saturday

 

Things I really oughta do this evening:

1) Put away my laundry that I washed almost a week ago

2) Clean dishes in my sink that have been there since almost a week ago

3) Study and work on papers that I should have begun almost a week ago

 

Things I will probably do:

1)Write about my exciting life on my riveting blog (hold onto your seats pals, it’s a wild ride)

2) Watch Netflix

3) Finish my book (The Paris Wife–you KNOW what I’m talking about. I might even like Hemingway after this..nope probably not but I do want to name an animal or a future child Hadley now)

4) Do the previously listed things that I really oughta do

 

Now, number two on the second list is not entirely accurate. Netflix and I are going through a bit of a rocky patch. For several reasons, one being the insensitivity to people living in Sweden that want access to Gilmore Girls too! UN-FAIR. Our current quarreling can also be attributed to Netflix’s poor attitude.  It (he)(she) is being super judgey and I don’t like it one bit! I feel like all recent suggestions are part of some passive aggressive commentary. There is this new feature where Netflix attempts to suggest shows and movies it thinks I will like.

Well I have news for you Netflix: You don’t know me!!

And I don’t want to watch the Mitt Romney documentary. I’ve seen Sisterwives!!

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I can’t help but wonder what Mitt is doing in this creepy hotel room, laughing by himself like some sort of psychopath. Or maybe he is watching Sesame Street for the first time, and realizing how awful of an idea it would be to pull PBS funding.

I don’t mean to be intolerant but I don’t see how I could possibly support someone who doesn’t drink coffee or alcohol.

How funny was it in the presidential debates when he did poorly, and it was attributed to him being uncomfortable with the fact they were sitting on stools. Because he hasn’t ever been to a bar..

What do I know anyway, I’m just one of many women Mitt has access to in his binders of wisdom

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Okay confession, I haven’t actually seen sister wives. But I have seen Amish in the City and I’m sure it’s kind of the same thing except not at all. I might as well have watched it for how many times Netflix has suggested it.

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This seems like a healthy and not even a little strange scenario. When in Utah?

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Now THIS seems way more up my alleyway. It combines my equal love of fishing and facial hair

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I googled the summary of this movie because the cover was so confusing to me. I get that the squirrel likes nuts (that’s what she said, queue Michael Scott giggle here) but why are the nuts only cashews? Do squirrels even eat cashews? Futhermore, does this store have a monopoly on all the cashews that apparently are so delicious that mice and dogs also are outwardly shocked by seeing them.

It this or is this not related to the hunger games? Are the cashews a metaphor for crack? Or a veiled commentary on modern consumerism? Mostly I just can’t get over the facial expressions of the squirrels in the back right of the poster.

No. This is what the movie is about:

An incorrigibly self-serving exiled squirrel finds himself helping his former park brethren raid a nut store to survive, that is also the front for a human gang’s bank robbery

It stars Will Arnett, Katherine Heigl, Brendan Fraser, and Leem Neeson all playing presumably unironic roles. I would like to know who wrote this movie!! Oh, IMDB tells me.

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It must be mentioned that the tag line to the movie is, I kid you not, “No nuts, no glory”. You had me at no nuts. That’s what she said..again

Someone with a very sad life dedicated WAY TOO LONG to creating the movie’s Wikipedia page. At least I’m not that guy.. and you aren’t either. Unless you are that guy, and in that case well done my friend! I mean, I’m the person looking up the Wikipedia page to this movie so I’m not in a position to comment.

 

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ESPECIALLY since Netflix thinks I would like this show ^^

Um.. Pretty sure rule number one is to bring your bra and underwear with you when you leave the house.

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Oh, it’s Mitt again! Welcome to my life, I see his eyes more often than I would like to admit. He pops up out of  nowhere in every category. It is because I watched Blackfish and House of Cards?

And this next show as well pops up more often than I would like to admit

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Kidding, this is the best thing ever. It pops up because I watch it when I am sad. No regrets–look at those faces.

 

Ain’t no party like a kitten party, except a Mitt Romney one.

Those are weird.

 

 

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