A comprehensive list of all the things to be thankful for, ever

I’m gonna go ahead and pretend that I am unaware the I missed the thankful boat by four days because like, I live in a foreign country where no one is thankful of anything because America has that one on lockdown for one day a year.


Trick suggestion, that would be impossible.


Until Black Friday when we stampede over one another’s bodies to get a DVD player at Walmart for half off. #AmericanPriorities

I personally celebrated in the most American way possible with an excessive feast followed by equally excessive raping and pillaging  Skyping with my mom and drinking wine, being the good holiday abiding citizen I am. In my defense I had just had a brutal paper writing extravaganza, plus I needed to test the uber classy wine box I had purchased for Friendsgiving the following day.


Then I made this list and forgot about it. Until now.

I am thankful first and foremost that I found this list, because it reminded me that I needed to express my gratitude for all that exists in the world that I enjoy.

Secondarily, I am thankful for lists in general because they are the greatest and only way I can convey thought if you haven’t noticed. The chaos of my brain must be expressed in lists and that is that. If lists didn’t exist, would I even be able to function? Don’t answer that.

So yeah

According to FB, everyone is thankful for their families and friends and significant others and for clean water and like..freedom and shit. Personally, I’m glad that I got paid this week but whatever. I am thankful that mangoes exist, and for my ability to illegally stream videos online.

I’m thankful that Vitamin D comes in tablet form, and that yoga pants are very much a thing (finally, I’ve been telling the world for what seems like decades)

I’m so freaking grateful for my Kindle, aka my best and most important friend. No offense non-technological friends, if you came with me wherever I went and read me books you would be better than the Kindle though bordering on stalkerish. It’s like my mom always says, it’s not stalking if it’s wanted!

I’m thankful for my employment at a place where constant coffee is available because lord knows I don’t drink enough coffee already.

I’m grateful on the behalf of my friends for the existence of snapchat because how else would they know when I bring 15 croissants to the gym if I didn’t carefully document it?

My god, I am so freaking thankful for spell check. Because I don’t care what level of education I achieve I will never be able to spell “decision”. I spelled it wrong just now, in case you were wondering but spell check had.my.back.

I’m incredibly glad my computer is holding on as best as it can. I’m thankful that it is still functioning at all, though barely. I may have external everything, including mouse, keyboard, and DVD player but you know..it’s still tugging along and I believe in it!

I am also thankful it is December FINALLY so I can get a Christmas tree and not seem like a dickwad for doing it too early. I strictly adhere to the Christmas only after Thanksgiving rule.


Let the repeated Elf watching commence! Very thankful to find an Elf themed drinking game. Will absolutely be using this


All this to say, Happy December!

Tralalalala lalala



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